lost Love, Found Hope
Is it bad that while a part of me is happy he's talking to me again, a bigger part of me wishes that whatever set him off had been the final straw... I am soul-deep in live with O, and I want to share his every day - and not from afar. This 'friendship' pretense we're walking around in is killing me. I want to curl up in his arms at night, not a memory of a missed memory. I want to be his weighted blanket, helping him sleep at night, even as he helps me. I want his light caress on my body as he snores softly in restful slumber. I want to wake in the morning, to his gruff voice asking me why I'm staring, again! I want to feel his weight at my back, and arm wrapped over my ribs, his breath on my neck. I want to have the morning breakfast we frequently did, discussing the plans for the day, the hopes, the worries, the living!! I want the life I got a glimpse of while he was here, because everything less is, well, less. I like the stability that E provides, don't ge...