the rollercoaster..

Trying to enjoy the evening with E, but every time I feel the smile start to really warm up O's hazel eyes blink past me, and the smile slips. I know he wants me to have fun, to try - so I do. But then I blink, or close my eyes, and I see his eyes, those pained eyes -

Eyes that say 'have fun' but are hooded with grief because it's not with him.

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