gone a night, and all I want to do when you return, dusty, dirty with grease and oil, is grab your face and kiss it. Damn, I'm hooked. I find I want you, all of you, but I can't; and I have to remind myself of this. I want to snake myself around you, envelope you, and make you mine completely but the marriage vow holds me back. You flirt and tempt and tease, and to be sure a part wants to answer, but just can't. The stolen kisses have been delicious, but I cant see myself going further no matter how much I really want to. I crossed that line one life before, I won't do so again; no matter the lust and the temptation.
Selfish, yea, maybe.
E's sleep schedule is all out of wack.. so I just 'put him to bed'.. did it to help him sleep, and to alleviate some pent-up energy in me, cause something/someone got my engine running hard... and as I walked away, I felt like shit, cause I can't tell who I'm cheating on anymore... I can't have who I want, not sure I want who I have...and the only thing holding me from falling apart are vows to stay... So I sat at my desk and broke into tears. I shoved it all down after a moment by reminding myself that what I want isn't as important as keeping others happy. It has always been that way, and it didn't change overnight just cause someone said so... O, did you really mean what you said yesterday? I know how much you abhor the idea of another wife..how much you aren't excited about another committment. I don't want you to ignore your wants just to appease mine. I am all in, if you are; but I can accept less if you don't. O, your an overthinker li...
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