Selfish, yea, maybe.

as we approach my new year i have only one thought that I keep whispering into the void… Otsoa, Wolf.. I love you, and I'm terrified of losing you. Your calls brighten my morning, afternoon, and night. Your hugs warm my soul. I don't want to lose you, and I'm scared to love this deeply because I know loss is inevitable. You're enthusiasm for a life you say you don't want is infectious and refreshing. Your loyalty and compassion, a balm to human contact. I know life is hard and harder for you than it ever should have been; but you have become a primary reason for me to keep pushing forward. I'm terrified to lose you, my deepest love, even though i know one day it will happen (but you promised me 50 years, and you better do everything you can to keep that promise!)