Selfish, yea, maybe.

happy birthday to me. Not really. I woke late, no alarm was set, 9hrs of sleep. I wish when I'd woke that somehow all this crap that's happened had gone away. Why couldn't J give me the one gift I really want. A pardon to my Wolf. Nothing else could make me truly happy. I like the presents I've gotten, indeed, but none of them are what I want! Everyone now seems to have soured to you, and it's tearing me up that I can't help them see what I see.

My head has been bothering me all day with a low-grade headache, but when you call it fades away. Your presence, your voice, is a Callander just in case you haven't connected it. In Messenger, I call you Otsoa, or Ene Otsoa, in place of say love, or my love. I will reiterate, you are my final destination.

Today you sent me a song, “scared to love” 

https://open.spotify.com/track/2zG8j3CR6XPeZiuJdubAPL?si=XnW-Qp8XRDCFVqKYLTB4Ig

And I have questions. It's never safe to assume. You thought I'd give up?? You didn't learn from my dedication to Dragon that I can and will love relentlessly. All he did was plant a kiss on me before he left for boot camp, and kept me following him until I was well and truly blindly hooked on the idea of what might be, and then he turned away, and even after that even after 10 years I still held a place for him in my soul. I don't love casually, Ene Otsoa, ever. You won't lose me for what's happened recently or what may happen in the near future. When i said you have a home, I meant in my soul.

I bonded you, my Wolf, I don't take that lightly even now. I trust you, I trust in you.