well fuck, yesterday didn't go well, did it. I hit 100mph flying back to pick you up, had to force my foot off the gas to slow down, cause getting the car smashed wouldn't help you. But that was yesterday. Today you're in Victorville waiting for your grandma to wake up so she can take you in. Miles away. And already I'm practicing the ‘step back’ exercises I was taught by someone else, to step away from emotions I don't or can't deal with. Fuck you for leaving so easily! You knew how I felt, and all I got was a glorious hug that I wish didn't end, so yea, fuck you.. you better keep your word to me. I don't want these to be my last thoughts cause they're too full of grief and pain. Get better, Ene Otsoa.. I need you. I can't lose you. I realized one simple fact while talking to a distant friend.. if I lose you, I'll lose myself. It'll be that last break, the last straw that shatters the last of me. So fuck you, don't fuck up, and come back. Swear it to me, even as you fight to keep promises to Alexis, that you'll keep them to me. I do hope, one day that A gets her head out of her ass, for you, too. But I'm not gonna lie, she doesn't deserve you anymore.

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