you woolheaded lummox.. I know how terrified you are about starting detox tomorrow, and then intake after. But you'll come out the other end a better man to be around your daughter, a better man to be around friends, and Family that has adopted you. Stop fucking up when you know the decision is wrong. You've made me proud by ignoring calls from your ex the last 24 hours, you have. I'm more than a little angry that it took so bluidy long to get through that thick skull of yours. yes, I know that you loved her, gave her 13 years, but she threw all of that away when she betrayed you, not once, Or twice but over and over. She threw it away when she struck you, over and over and you covered it up, to protect her. I know this is going to hurt, but she doesn't deserve you, and I think even without the council some small part of you knows this. But, Ene Otsoa, while it's tearing me up to think about what's in store for you, I'm also hopeful that you'll take this time to really look at what you've been doing, and realize that you aren't alone anymore. Maybe alone, in that there is no one in bed with you, but there are more than one or two people that give a fuck about YOU. People that stood by you, if not in front of you, and attempted to help you do better than you were. And if you don't think that's true, you pompous ass, go back and reread all of this ‘fluff yourself up’ and realize that I may be holding you up on a pedestal, but I know how easy it is to fall, and break your ass. I love you, but stop fucking up. كفى يا حبيبي you tell me that I've become your soul, and I am moved; because words very similar were uttered by me to someone I cherish.

“But he's become a fixed point - my darkness has crept back in (did before he came around) and he was able, through counseling him) to set it back on its heels. He's talked me down from far too many ledges..” a truth that may not be known by many. “It's not really a choice up to me, at this point... Like I said, I can accept that he will have to leave. But if I lose him, I'm done. I can't.. not again..”


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