https://www.facebook.com/reel/1784430848754579?mibextid=9drbnH&s=yWDuG2&fs=e so yesterday we talked in the morning, than not again all day. It felt a little weird, like both of us were in shock over the discussion. I kept reaching for the phone, wanting to call, or see if there were messages, but never called and no messages came. Then I woke this morning, to find you'd tried to call before I stirred from slumber and now I'm filled with trepidation. A part of me wants to allow you to have your ring back, that I may have mine, so that I can show, again, to the world the words I can't speak easily; but i also don't want to because your ring has been a life preserver in the lonely hours of the day and night. I weary of waiting for the gods to grant me the release from old vows, so that I might chase to the new. He may have done you wrong, Ene Otsoa, but he is a good man.
Selfish, yea, maybe.
E's sleep schedule is all out of wack.. so I just 'put him to bed'.. did it to help him sleep, and to alleviate some pent-up energy in me, cause something/someone got my engine running hard... and as I walked away, I felt like shit, cause I can't tell who I'm cheating on anymore... I can't have who I want, not sure I want who I have...and the only thing holding me from falling apart are vows to stay... So I sat at my desk and broke into tears. I shoved it all down after a moment by reminding myself that what I want isn't as important as keeping others happy. It has always been that way, and it didn't change overnight just cause someone said so... O, did you really mean what you said yesterday? I know how much you abhor the idea of another wife..how much you aren't excited about another committment. I don't want you to ignore your wants just to appease mine. I am all in, if you are; but I can accept less if you don't. O, your an overthinker li...
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