https://www.facebook.com/reel/1784430848754579?mibextid=9drbnH&s=yWDuG2&fs=e so yesterday we talked in the morning, than not again all day. It felt a little weird, like both of us were in shock over the discussion. I kept reaching for the phone, wanting to call, or see if there were messages, but never called and no messages came. Then I woke this morning, to find you'd tried to call before I stirred from slumber and now I'm filled with trepidation. A part of me wants to allow you to have your ring back, that I may have mine, so that I can show, again, to the world the words I can't speak easily; but i also don't want to because your ring has been a life preserver in the lonely hours of the day and night. I weary of waiting for the gods to grant me the release from old vows, so that I might chase to the new. He may have done you wrong, Ene Otsoa, but he is a good man.
my kids think I dont put them first
If they only knew... if I were selfish, I'd have left them here with E years ago, without a word.. before the eldest moved out on their own, I'd have left. I'd have left when E left the first bruise (accidentally, though it was) on their arm while restraining them to punish them for something I can't even remember today. I'd have left E the day he accidentally choked my youngest, who was only trying to protect they're elder sibling from the wrath they felt sure they saw in his eyes after learning the middle had self-harmed. Blaming me for not checking on them, when the greater harm had been to the middle and I was checking on them! Protecting the middle from what I saw was the greater threat, E. But I stay here! To protect their ungrateful asses from the man I said vows to, though every second of every day I regret it deeper and deeper in my heart. My kids don't think I put them first when I find solace of any kind in the proximity of O - but they...have......
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