Selfish, yea, maybe.

i found it flattering that you spent time yesterday explaining to me and assuring me that you and R weren't a ‘thing’ not once, but several times. I know you're doing that because you've been reading these, and you know my own insecurities. I had fun yesterday, and I'd have to agree, distance does make the heart grow fonder. I used to think otherwise; that distance allowed the heat of emotion to cool over time. But yesterday when you called a private conference, my heart stopped as that door latched closed and the room went dark. I'll admit, a part of me wished a kiss had been stolen in those moments of darkness, but then the light clicked on, and you were further away than when you'd closed the door. I had to swallow my heart then, because if I hadn't well, whose to say what I might have said when I opened my mouth to talk, even in that instant. And then you asked for head pats, without asking for head pats; chaperones. The distance certainly is not letting my ardour fade.