Why, if I was such a gods-send for the man, do I feel like I'm being vilified? I pulled him up from the depth of darkness and despair, and with one panicked action, without thought, destroyed him in equal measure. I just got off the phone with the court reporter, after giving my interview (thank you gods for letting me do that, btw), and expressing my worries about Alexis gaining custody of my wolf cub. And have been assured that, at least at this time, there is no evidence that the courts are considering this avenue. They are still attempting to reunite the cub with her sire. My husband sees the worry on my face, but can’t identify it. Doesn’t understand that I’m worried about the cub and her safety, and I’m worried about the father and his safety. I adore the father, pine for the father when he’s too far away, am addicted to the father, love and am in love with the father. And I only want to see him happy - his happiness would be mine, if it can be gained.

I asked you to go against everything you've been familiar with today, and leave your ex stranded because you didn't want to deal with her any more. You'd already bent over backward for her, and she was asking for more. Now I suspect your mulling over what that means for you down the road, and how you feel about it. I suspect Your a bit upset, even, with me or yourself. But love, remember, she's toxic to you, to your cub. She's been abusive, verbally, physically, emotionally, to you and the cub. I know she's still your lioness, but she's also toxic. I wouldn't ask you to go against your nature, if i thought she was safe for you to be around. I know it's not comfortable for you to hear. I love you. I'm worried what she does to you mentally whenever you're near her,  I know I can't sever that connection completely, but I'll not pretend That it isn't a goal of mine to somehow break your need to go to her at a snap of her fingers. Even just to get you to a point that you can say, “i can't right now, but ill come by later to help with XYZ” i would call a win.

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