Selfish, yea, maybe.

I'm scared I'm losing you.  I know I never truly had you, but you had me, have me; and after yesterday, I'm scared that's fading. I want to yank you back into the embrace we never shared, to wake up next to you like i never did.  Even writing this I'm trembling, it hurts. I haven't really slept in 24 hours, because I'm afraid of the dreams to come, because I'm scared the nightmares may well be back, in force. But here I am sitting in a house alone, stuggling to keep it together for the sake of others. This is me, maybe overthinking, maybe not.