Frustrations, and scrambling thoughts..

..another doctor appt that I've missed.

His doctor gave him a 50lb (critical!) limit or he could rupture a disc.

He's frustrated now as he doesnt want a desk job, but manual labor seems out of question.

He decided to skip the next apt (scheduled today) and rather than talk to me further he hung up. So now my mind is spinning..

Encourage him, reassure him, comfort him, strategis with him...

E heard the same prognosis years ago, and after a few years of careful adherence, dumped the concerns off at the curb and just worked. O is made of tougher stuff than E...

Racing mind:

Is he annoyed that I wasnt there, again? We talked, and he confirmed that K was there but she was at the car cause he didnt need her mind games "im his wife" bs - gave me a small tickle of pride that hes putting that boundary up, but that means I need to find a way to step up...

I dont care if he has a work limitation, I dont need the big ass ranch, a small would be fine - i just need him. It's been a challenge (sometimes good, sometimes bad) managing the ranch as it is - i dont have to keep doing it.

Rain predicted next week - getting out and down the hill could be a challenge.

I wish I were taller/bigger so I could wrap myself around him, and cuddle him until he felt better.. he used to refer to himself expressly as a Wolf, now, he slips now and again and refers to feline personalities..

I miss him, physically..