bondsickness at its finest

I barely slept last night, up and now throughout the night. Hes alone at a motel, fighting his demons, alone. I want to be there, but I dont dare go to him. Doing so would definitely seal crossing that line.
So this morning, the house is quiet, but the mind is anything but. Im doing my morning routine out of habit more than any determination to care for myself, and all the while tears and slipping out of my eyes. Im not crying, but my eyes say otherwise.
I made and ate breakfast and now my stomach is upset, and the tears keep leaking out. I walk away from my computer, unwilling to focus, and move to living room. Light jazz is lifting through the air, and im trying to occupy myself, but my attention is frayed, and the tears continue to leak.
What is he doing? Is he sleeping? Is he sulking?
And another tears slides down my cheek..

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