Reaffirming

This last year has taught me that while I can LOVE multiple people, I only WANT one at my side.
Polyamorous, but not polyrelationship...
Once our union is cemented, that's it. No sharing, no playing with others. All, or nothing.

I only wait for a few factors here. 1 the court stuff - resolved, somehow.
2 the marriage - disolved in one way or another.
But first 1 must happen, than 2 is just a waiting game.

I can't break him, he doesn't deserve it, but he doesn't HAVE me anymore, in anything more than the marriage vows. So I sit by and slowly bleeding out a bit of my soul each time I hear from you, the struggle you're going through wanting me.
For 5 years I was numb in this marriage, ignoring the behaviors from him that now get under my skin, because I thought it was all I would ever find. You showed me otherwise; you woke me up; you made me feel again.

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