Dearest Gentle Reader;

 

...again you press me to open up. Again you ask, and shut me down because you don't want to hear my answers, is it because it hurts you to hear them?

Why do i love you? Because you make me feel seen, i'm aware that others may see me, but you..you make me feel seen in a way others don't. You hear me when i talk, you hear what i don't say, you hear when my voice or words shift from their usual to their stressed structure. You HEAR me where others don't. You call me out when i dodge a question. You drag me back, and force me to answer when i get slippery and avoid answering. You hear me when i say things are fine, you hear they aren't.

Why do i love you? Because when you randomly tell me i'm beautiful, or sexy, or gorgeous, for a few moments it doesn't matter what my self-image is, because in those moments your truth is all that matters. i may not like how i look, but in those moments, my opinions are overwritten.

Why do i love you? Because even when i'm upset, you manage to make me smile.

i may have told you on the phone that i didn't know why, and for a time it was the truth. But i sat with myself, and my dogs, and asked myself the same question. Those were the answers i came up with. i love you, in sum, because you love me - perhaps a cornie line, but also a partial truth. i love you, because you see me.