My Wolf

 I ask you to remember that as a witch, symbols mean a great deal to me - they carry meaning and significance. Take note of the rings I wear, and in which order; the necklace I wear, and the jewelry, they all have Meaning to me.

Can you be content in a shadow roll on my heart? The feelings are very real, but I've no reason to break vows and until then... I wear our band closest to my heart, nearest to my lifeblood, because with every waking day, I find myself closer to you.

With everything you do, I see a man growing in strength, and healing from years of trauma. I know you will never be 'whole', that you will always be 'healing'; it is the nature of your wounds. But one day, I believe, you won't be so on edge and afraid of snapping or hurting someone. And if it ever comes, a day when you do hurt someone, they'll have deserved every drop of sweat you gave them.

When your energy is through the roof, and you're bouncing off the walls, I find it to be intoxicating, enthralling, and tantalizing. I find myself wanting to be pinned against a wall and kissed like it was meant. More wouldn't be necessary.

You think I don't listen when you scold, teach, or advise. But I hear every word. I listen when you talk when you explain your past. I see you struggle against a body that refuses to do as you ask. I weep internally when you are reminded of what you can no longer do. I wish I had the ability to restore you physically, even as I try to restore some semblance of mental health.

If magic were strong enough in this world, I’d ‘burn myself out’ to heal you. The molten anger you harbor I understand. Polyamorous I may be, I know others are not; you and he more so. If I could arrange a mutual thing, that you and he were willing to compromise I'd be in heaven, but I know that's not to be. Yet even still I think, I feel, with you I am complete.

I'm selfish, and I know it; but it's because I know I have a Wolf that will have my back, my sides, my front, my in-betweens, my everything. I have a Wolf, and the Wolf has me. You are Enough!

I'm selfish because I want to keep you close, but I know at some point I'll have to let go. I dread that day, those yawning weeks and months where you won't be close. If I had my choice, that day would never come. You are a part of me, and I wouldn't have it any other way. You are my Wolf, and I your - whatever. Your eyes, your smile, your frown, your scowl, your voice, your silence, you. I'm selfish, I love, and I fear losing you.