Sober Partner, Clear Boundaries

Holy freckle, cricket! Today has been the most subdued uneventful day I've had in a long time! I talked with O for 50 minutes so on the phone, and felt peace fall over me.

I want to be a part of his life, and he a part of mine; but i set a boundary the other day I wont go back on. I want a sober partner, and a monogamous one to boot. If I am to be his and give of myself fully, I need him to do the same.

He told me today that I generally has a rule about going after married women, but he broke that rule for me. He also asked me how to tell his ex that he was done with her, and I advised him to do it bluntly, and clearly; not to leave doors or windows open. If hes done with her, as he says, it must be fully and completely. The obvious exception being their daughter.

Apparently, too, he must close windows with some "Maria" from his past, as well. I dont know her, but the name alone strikes cords in my head that i'm having problems reconciling.

My "Maria" is now long deceased, but the name is still acting like some frustrating tether.

Anyway, until he's broken the chains that hold him, I will make no further attempts to wiggle free of the chains that bind me; there's no point. I wont have an alcoholic for a mate, now or ever (recovering, yes, active, no).