Struggling with Boundaries

Two days ago (so, Thursday morning) I fought off my alcoholic brain. I woke up that morning, walked into the kitchen, and though a rum and coke sounded like a better wake up drink than coffee. Caught myself as I turned to head to where the drinks are stored, reminded myself that numbing my thoughts wasnt the answer and brewed coffee instead. 

Yesterday, I argued with that alcoholic brain all day, I didnt want to think about the simple fact that I hurt the Wolf, again. Didnt want to remember the pain I saw burning in his gaze as he begged me to stay.

Today, it is easier, but not. Today my need to be at his side is blinding me to just about everything else. He had a laps im judgement, drank, and fell getting out of someone's car. He was so out of it that he was rushed to the er (allowed to leave after several tests and a shock to his heart). But hes home now with a minor concussion and a goose egg on his noggin. And its been all of me not to hop in my car and go to him.
I wont cross my own boundary, but I cant help feeling like the boundary is pointless. My heart is blinded by the need to be with him, in all ways; my mind, however, is being smart and saying hes not ready for all of what "us" would mean.

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