Relationship Crossroad

So, I just learned that O went to the ER last night (no word to me that he might) for his foot and back. This following a disconnect in sms that I'm finding hard to ignore. He talked about energy for energy when he lived at the ranch, so do I return energy for energy now and back off despite what it'll do to my heart?

I've spent 15+ years quietly bidding my time while waiting for an equal opportunity window to join with the dragon, i can do so again for the wolf. Letting the distance slowly chip away at my soul as the years roll by. O can go back to being the silent predator hunting in the wild.

Neverminding the small flow of tears that fell yesterday as I drove away. The end of visitations may hurt him, but it hurts me, too - for different reasons. Nevermind stealing an evening from the world, and enjoying some personal time with a man who somehow convinced me to let go of the dragon, and took his place in my soul.